Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution

Currently, I am a stay at home mom. So my conflicts are mostly between my twin boys and I or between David and Andrew themselves.

I have to admit that sometimes when it is a conflict between me and one of the boys, I tend to use challenging strategies. I fully know that this type of strategy is used to benefit my needs, but sometimes as a parent that is my only option. For example, if I am in the grocery store and one of them is having a melt down because they have sat in the cart, strapped in, for too long, I have to diffuse the situation so that I can finish my shopping. Some people might say that I should just up and leave the basket and exit the store! However, I look at it from the direction of....it was a challenge to get here in the first place and I am not giving up until I am done!! Therefore, I usually talk to them or reprimand their behavior if it needs it, but I always finish my shopping!

Most of the time, when it comes to conflict between the boys, I try to take a cooperative strategy approach. If I am aware of who took who's car and who was playing with said care first, I usually try to diffuse the situation by giving back the car to its' rightful owner and then discuss with the "stealer" how it is not okay to take other people's things. But I do try to make it a win-win outcome by giving the "stealer" a different car that is not being used by anyone. Compromise is tough but I do use it as an outcome when I do not know exactly what they are having the conflict over. Sometimes I come into the room too late and just see them tussling on the floor! I guess this is what boys do! However, I want them to understand that putting your hands on someone else does not solve the problem and that it is better to use your words. Again, tough for a 2 year old because they are just getting to the talking stage. Yet, I want them to learn that physical force is never the answer to a problem. In this situation, the nonviolent communication is the best tool because it promotes discussion of feelings in regards to the situation and then allows not only compromise but compassion for how the other person feels.